What a year it has been.. the 16th I turn the big 23… as blink 182 claims no one likes you when your 23.  As I reflect on 22 it has one big year in my life. I learned one big lesson and that is DONT TRUST ANYONE.. oh and never to expect anything.. from ANYONE. Expecting usually leads to let downs. 22 I made a lot of new “friends” and reconnected with old ones. Friends is in quotes because u never know if someone is really your friend until you need something… if they are still around then I guess then they would be considered a friend. I hate to sound so bitter… but the truth hurts. I wish my life is this picture perfect world but … SURPRISE.. its not. I guess what changed me the most was early on in the year.. I knew the let down was coming but to my regret I didn’t brace myself for it so I guess it could have been partly my fault.. I should have been smarter. What else.. oh yea I also learned not to tell people anything.. because without you looking they will take any chance to pass u up. oh well Whatever. 

I guess if anything Im most disappointed in myself. I always pictured myself at 23 to be done with school…. accomplished.. moving on with my life. But Im still stuck in the same place I always have been. Im not really sure what happened. I used to be so ambitious.. I used to care. I find myself not caring about anything anymore. I guess that is sad. Sometimes I wish I was able to just travel, see the world for what it really is. We tend to get lost in this country with all these materialistic dreams, not realizing how much we can actually do. But once we have this goal or dream it just gets shot down. For financial reasons, academic reasons… or even people holding you back. I just need to get away.. alone.. I need to think about what I really want out of this life.. what I need to do it.. and how to do it. 

NEXT, I can really do without the pressure my family puts on me.. Dont get me wrong I  love my family to death and would do anything for them. But I think there is a time in someones life where they need to venture out on their own. Experience life for themselves.. MAKE MISTAKES for god sake. I just feel like im not able to do that. Anything I want to do gets questioned… even going to the mall! I feel like they arnt letting me live my life and I dont know what to do about it. A professor told me this summer that I need to divorce my family if you want to live your life.. oh man is that true. Not to mention the pressure they put on the M word… its like what do u want me to do pull a guy outta my pocket and marry him. geesh. I just they would back off on somethings.  Well I think I did enough rambling for tonight… 

DEUCES.

Hola! bahahaha its my first blog ever…. well.. since my 8th grade xanga, but lets not talk about that. I have been built up without a lot of emotion lately, so THIS… plus a trip to the park might be my answer! Thanks!!  - @rio2shoes….well till next time!

DEUCES.